Manageable Pieces. Chew Slowly.

I’m taking my cue from Gin, who is also going through a divorce right now and has chosen to post in bulleted lists. This is so spot-on, it should be in the handbook: Don’t try to take in everything, just write lists. Every incident, and there are so many and they come hard and fast, has the potential for emotional overwhelm. One step, one day at a time. Process what and as you can.
* If you don’t know what to do next, wait until you do. Clarity will come.

* Thank God for animals. They provide a way of getting used to and remembering what love is, how to give and how to receive.

* Some moments will be so excruciatingly difficult, you don’t know if you will make it through, but there is a part of you reserved for just such moments that will get you through. You never knew you had it until it shows up and endures.

* Some moments will be crazy joyful, too, and I caught myself wondering WTF that came from. It’s all part of the package of individuation.

* Surround yourself with those who support you, and this is the hard and less obvious part--distance yourself, if not actually release those who are not. They will show up, and you might be surprised by what side they stand on, in both cases.

* Watch out for the eating thing. It will come up, ala feast or famine.

* And finally, because I need to keep my lists short, too—from yesterday’s The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series), by Melody Beattie, (this book is a Godsend, I swear):

Transformation Through Grief

We’re striving for acceptance in recovery—acceptance of ourselves, our past, other people, and our present circumstances. Acceptance brings peace, healing, and freedom—the freedom to take care of ourselves.
Acceptance is not a one-step process. Before we achieve acceptance, we go towards it in stages of denial, anger, negotiating, and sadness. We call these stages the grief process. Grief can be frustrating. It can be confusing. We may vacillate between sadness and denial. Our behaviors may vacillate. Others may not understand us. We may neither understand ourselves nor our own behavior while we’re grieving our losses. Then one day, things become clear. The fog lifts, and we see we that have been struggling to face and accept a particular reality.
Don’t worry. If we a taking steps to take care of ourselves, we will move through this process exactly at the right pace. Be understanding with yourself and others for the very human way we go through this process.
Today, I will accept the way I go through change. I will accept the grief process, and its stages, as the way people accept loss and change.

The fog does lift, in glorious moments, throughout. And in the spirit of rigorous honesty, I don't look like Lara Croft, but I'm feelin' the power.